Suitable Flesh

RETRO erotic body-swap horror Suitable Flesh, now streaming on Shudder, is based on the 1937 HP Lovecraft short story ‘The Thing on the Doorstep‘.

Heather Graham and Barbara Crampton star in this horny adaptation, written by Dennis Paoli and directed by Joe Lynch. Deemed a “spiritual successor” to Stuart Gordon’s 1980s Lovecraftian horror films, Re-Animator and From Beyond, Lynch’s film fits right into this comic sideshow for all its totally bonkers goofball comedy, euphoric curative mutilations, and glossy sensual swagger.

A cinematic love letter to the late, great horror filmmaker, it comes off as an unpredictable and delightfully perverted gift to fans of everything from erotic thrillers to body horror and HP Lovecraftian cosmic mayhem. Actually, the only thing really missing here is Bruce Campbell’s manic cheese-eating grin.

Graham is brilliant in the starring role as Elizabeth Derby, a once successful psychiatrist who had a loving husband (Johnathon Schaech) and the world at her fingertips.

Now, she finds herself locked up inside a mental institution after the murder of young male patient, Asa (Judah Lewis), to whom she had an inexplicable and almost otherworldly attraction.

Hoping to clear her name, Elizabeth confides in her doctor and best friend Dr Dani Upton (Barbara Crampton). She recounts what happened, giving way to a freakish and unsettling tale of sexual madness, supernatural horror, and homicidal rage. The deeper the story goes, the more unhinged and carnage-laden life becomes, not just for Elizabeth but for everyone in her path.

Outlandish and mind-bending throughout, Lynch does a really great job at tipping his hat to the horror cinema great and clearly lots of fun was had along the way. This has an old skool 80s and 90s feel to it and will provide real thrills and sentimental VHS flashbacks to fans of warped Lovecraftian horror with sex and gore aplenty.

(4/5)

Glorious

‘GLORIOUS‘ is a dark and comic Lovecraftian horror that is as original as it is absurd. And downright nasty to boot.

Now showing on Shudder, the film stars Ryan Kwanten of ‘Home and Away’-fame as Wes, a seemingly heartbroken and down on his luck man living out of his car and looking pretty dishevelled.

Wes stops at a grungy rest stop bathroom to freshen up after a night of drunken debauchery that he has little memory of. He quickly finds himself in bit of a pickle when a soft-spoken malignant God, voiced by J.K. Simmons, prophetically propositions him from the next stall.

As it turns out, there’s more awry in the universe than Wes’s love-life and, somehow, only he is equipped to put it right.

Directed by Rebekah McKendry, the film is worth the watch – if only just to savour Simmons’ lingering and honey-combed drawl for 79 minutes.

The voice of the unseen deity with the unpronounceable name speaks to the hungover Wes through a ‘glory-hole’ in the next cubicle, hence the film’s title.

Of course, with a thumping headache, Wes is convinced he is either hallucinating or the victim of some kind of sick joke and is desperate to escape. But as the bizarre reality of his situation sinks in and his head becomes filled with the philosophical and cosmogonic musings of this dry-witted universal life-force, he realises there’s only one way out.

Thankfully, satisfying the whims of the bathroom-bound cosmic god isn’t, despite their sordid surroundings, anything as perverted as our protagonist had first imagined. However, the price is a significant one, and the clock is quickly ticking down.

Unhinged and histrionic, this is a far better movie than it really has any right to be, despite the fact it is let down by a rather straightforward ending.

The truth though, it would appear, is out there!

(3/5)