Night Teeth

DIRECTED by Adam Randall, teen vampire thriller ‘Night Teeth‘, will suck the life right out of you, despite the fact it has absolutely no choppers at all.

New to Netflix, it tells the story of Benny (Jorge Lendeborg Jr), a college student with aspirations of becoming a superstar DJ, that moonlights as a chauffeur for one night.

His task is to drive mystery girls Blair (Debby Ryan) and Zoe (Lucy Fry) around Los Angeles for a night of party-hopping.

But Benny soon gets caught up in an age-old war between vampires and the protectors of the human world.

And as it turns out, the world is protected from glamorous bloodsuckers, who hide in plain sight in their mansions on the Hollywood Hills, and include Megan Fox among their beautiful horde, by his brother Jay (Raúl Castillo) who is determined to send them back into the shadows after breaking their truce.

After Benny discovers who the two party girls in the back of his car really are and what they have planned for their night on the town, he, wait for it, ends up falling in love with one of these alluring leeches and must then choose between his fear and temptation.

‘Night Teeth’ is glossy, cold and more shallow than ‘The Twilight Saga‘. To be fair, Randall’s movie actually makes ‘Twilight‘ look like real artful and highbrow horror cinema.

This just kind of felt like watching a lowly lit episode of ‘Keeping Up with the Kardashians‘. It is just awful!

‘Night Teeth’ lacks flair, imagination and has absolutely nothing new to bring to the dark mythology of vampires. This is more about style than substance and it absolutely reeks!

Here’s a vampire film sure to drain you dry and leave you reeling. The plot makes no sense and unravels from the get go. It is an abomination.

Bram Stoker must surely be turning in his grave!

(2/5)