DO you remember that feeling as a kid of being rightly chuffed with yourself after correctly guessing the villain in the monster costume in those hackneyed ‘Scooby Doo‘ shows?
Week in, week out, it became so formulaic and so unchallenging, it almost became a guilty pleasure to identify the dastardly scoundrel under the mask in the opening minutes of the show.
Well, ‘There’s Someone Inside Your House‘ is no guilty pleasure, but it certainly feels as dated and undemanding as those goofy ‘Scooby Doo‘ cartoons.
I guarantee, you will have guessed who the killer is in the first ten minutes. You certainly don’t need to be a quick-witted sleuth to spot the obvious here!
New to Netflix, this teen-slasher really is as unimaginative and predictable as they come.
Director Patrick Brice should be ashamed of himself, but it is king of the modern horror flick James Wan (‘Saw’, ‘The Conjuring’, ‘Insidious’), who produced this tripe, that really ought to hang his head for being associated in any way.
Even the movie’s title, ‘There’s Someone Inside Your House‘, seems lazy! Especially when you consider that some of these young high school lovelies get hacked up in the halls of their high school, a cornfield and even the local church.
But, hey, that’s just me nitpicking!
And in fairness, the movie’s title is the least of your worries.
Brice’s film follows a bunch of pouty teens, with some skeletons in their closets, who are being picked off one by one by a deranged killer intent on exposing their darkest secrets to the whole town. The killer wears a mask with the face of the person they are about to kill, just in case it all gets too much for us to follow, I suppose!
Somehow, the director managed to stop just short of placing a giant red arrow over the killer’s head in the first few minutes, so there’s that small mercy to be thankful for.
Really though, this is so empty and poorly executed, it is embarrassing.
(2/5)
Goblins Be Thine 